Featherstonehaugh: BLAKE IS BACK BABY BLAKEY BUTLER DEALING HIS NEW TOME ALICE KNOTT, PRONOUNCED ALICE KUGH-NOTT FOR THOSE IN THE KNOW.
Cholmondeley: IT HAS BEEN A WHILE FOR BLAKE MANY YEARS HAVE PASSED WHILE HE HAS SLUMBERED.
Featherstonehaugh: HE HASN’T BEEN SLUMBERING AND YOU KNOW IT. HE WAS EVOLVING. GATHERING INPUTS LIKE TWITTER BODY DEMENTIA, MEMORY PALACES, LANGUAGEGROUND AND LANGUAGESKY, SOUTHERN HIP HOP, ATLANTA POWER, NUDE DOGS, DOMESTICATEDNESS, LYNCHIANA AND RARE EARTHS.
Cholmondeley: IT IS A RECOVERY. SOME UNCHARITABLES WOULD SAY THAT BLAKE HAS FALLEN FAR FROM THE DAYS WHEN HE RULED THE ROOST AND WAS ALSO THE PREMIER FARMER OF LANGUAGEGROUND. THE ALT LIT SCENE OF WHICH HE WAS A GODHEAD LIKE TAO BASICALLY GAVE RISE TO DOZENS OF SEXUAL PREDATORS. AN INCUBATOR OF CREEPS LIKE Y COMBINATOR MAKES DUMB APPS ALT LIT MADE EMERGENT ASSAULTISTS AND DISRUPTORS IN THE REALM OF OF DATING VIOLENCE.
Featherstonehaugh: YOU KNOW YOURSELF BALKE WAS NEVER ASSOCIATED WITH THOSE MEGA CREEPERS AND STRAIGHT-UP DIPSHIT CRIMINAL FUCKS. THEY LIVED IN THE COMMENTS, BALKE LIVES IN THE POSTS. BALKE WAS LIKE AN UNDERGOURND PROMETHEUS ALWAYS TOILING IN THE SYNTAX MINES, BRINGING TO LIGHT NEW CONTRUCTIONS NEW SENTENCES NEW WORDSTOCK AND FLOW.
Cholmondeley: I HEARD A RUMOR ON THE FUCKING NET ONE OF MY FAVE PLACES FOR RUMORS.
Featherstonehaugh: GO ON YOU KNOW I LOVE IT TOO
Cholmondeley: I HEARD THIS NEW TOME ALICE KNOTT IS MEMORY AND ART AND LANGUAGEWORK PLUS BLAKE BUTLER’S DAVID MARKSON PLUS LYNCH’S DUNE.
Featherstonehaugh: A REINVENTION HE SAID A TURNING TOWARDS HE SAID. THE AVANT-GARDE MASTER DROPS HIS TOOLS OF INVENTION AND PICKS UP THE TOOLS OF CONVENTION
Cholmondeley: OR SO YOU THE READER THINKS SURPRISE THE BOOK STILL HAS TONS OF 5000-WORD PARAGRAPHS OF SLANT RHYMED SENTENCES ABOUT CHARACTERS NAMED MOTHER FATHER THE MISSING MAN CLYDE AND THE MARROWTIKE PLUS SOME CUTTING MEDITATIONS ON FRANCIS BACON PAINTINGS.
Featherstonehaugh: BLOCKS MULTIPAGE BLOCKS OF PROSE THAT APPEARS TO HAVE BEEN GENERATED BY A FASCIST ALGORITHM RAISED ON REFRIGERATOR MANUALS AND FETISH REPLY TWEETS THAT IS WHAT I PREDICTED WE WILL RECEIVE FROM MY MAN PUBLISHED ON REFORM RIVERHEAD BOOKS AND EDITED BY CALVERT MORGAN OF THE EVERTON FC CALVERT-LEWINS. AND MY PREDICTION WAS MOSTLY TRUE.
Cholmondeley: BUT THERE WAS EVEN ANOTHER NET RUMOR THAT THIS IS BALKE’S BIG SHOT AT THE BIG TIME. THE DUDE WANTS HIS NETFLIX OPTIONED SERIES HES SITTING DOWN IN ATLANTA PETTING HIS CHICKENS LIKE STEAMING OVER A HOLLYWOOD REPORTER ARTICLE THAT PATRICK SOMERVILLE GOT ANOTHER ORDER AND THINKING WITH LEGIT SALIVA FLOWING OVER HIS MOUTH-LEVEES HOW HE CAN GET A FINGER OR TWO ON THAT MANIAC MONEY HES THINKING WHERE IS MY MULTIYEAR RUN ON MR ROBOT AMELIA GRAY AND MR SAM ESMAIL. PUT ME IN COACH AND I WILL RIP SHIT ON THAT LANGUAGEVISION AKA TV
Featherstonehaugh: PUT BALKE IN THE WRITERS ROOM FOR SUCCESSION AND YOU GOT KENDALL LECTURING PEOPLE ON THE RHIZOME AND EATING HAIR IN MULTIPLE EPISODES. NO WAY THAT DOESNT BLOW THE ROOF OFF THE COUNTRY.
Cholmondeley: MY MAN WAS STRAIGHT DESERTICATING HIS OWN RETINAS WATCHING HIS PHONE WAITING FOR A RING FROM DAVID NEVINS FOR THAT TWIN PEAKS THE RETURN CALL UP TO THE BIG LEAGUES ALSO MAILING 40 COPIES OF 300,000,000 A WEEK TO LYNCH’S PUBLICIST
Featherstonehaugh: FALSE BALKE WOULDN’T EVEN WANT A PART OF WORKING FOR THE MASTER WHEN HE ALREADY SURPASSED THE MASTER LYNCH COULDN’T HEAR THE KIDS COMING UP FROM BEHIND TO TAKE HIS ASS OUT BECAUSE HE WAS MEDITATING TOO HARD AND SMOKING TOO MUCH
Cholmondeley: LYNCH ETHERED BY BALKE JUST AS BOLANO WAS FUCKING MAKES YOU SAD. WE SHOULD GET MORE INTO THE BOOK BEFORE WE HAVE TO TAKE A BREAK TO HEAR FROM OUR SPONSORS START US OFF
Featherstonehaugh: WHERE TO START HOUW ABOUT LANGUAGE MEMORY ART. ALL THE BIG ONES. NOTHING LESS THAN A FULL TREATISE EVERYBODY-CLEAR-OUT OPUS ON HUMANHOOD HUMANITY MEANING TALKITUDE LIFE STUFF AND THE STONE COLD WORLD.
Cholmondeley: DAMN
Featherstonehaugh: SPASTIC ANIMALS, LANGUAGE LOBOTOMIES AND SCRAPINGS, MEAT CUBES, FLESH DADDIES, TWO BLOOD NATIVITIES, JUST A SHIT-TON OF SINISTER ENTITIES TOO PHLEGM DEMONS AND GHOST PAINTINGS YOU KNOW. CLASSIC BALKE RAISED TO THE BLAKEST POWER FEATURING ALICE KNOTT. AS A READER WHEN YOU’VE INHABITED THIS BOOK YOU NEED TO ASK YOURSELF IF IT GETS ANY BETTER AND IF YOUR HONEST ANSWER IS YES THEN YOU NEED TO ALSO ASK YOURSELF IF YOU’RE EVEN A HUMAN OR MERELY A BIG SACK OF SHIT WITH A FACE ON IT.
Cholmondeley: DAMN THAT IS VERY FRANK FROM YOU
Featherstonehaugh: I WANT TO GET AHEAD OF THE BADWAGON HERE BEFORE EVERYONE JUMPS ON I WANT TO BE THE GUY WHO BUILDS THE BANDWAGON AND WHOS LEANING AGAINST IT SMOKING FASHIONABLY WHEN EVERYONE ELSE SHOWS UP AND TRAMPLES EACH OTHER TRYING TO JUMP ON THAT RICKETY SHIT THAT I BUILT.
Cholmondeley: ASK ME ABOUT THE DELUXE VERSION BECAUSE I’M ON THAT BANDWAGON
Featherstonehaugh: OH SORRY I FORGOT YOU SPRUNG FOR THAT ONE DID I READ RIGHT THAT IT COMES WITH WHAT THEY’RE CALLING PREMIUM OFFAL?
Cholmondeley: BLAKES FINGERNAILS HAIR BLOOD MUCUS FORMED INTO A FIREBAKED BALL PRESENTED IN A PLASTIC CASE INSIDE A VELLUM SATCHEL A DOZEN OF THOSE IN THE AUXILIARY BOX THAT COMES WITH THE DELUXE VERSION. WHEN I READ WITH TWO OF THOSE IN MY HANDS I WAS LIKE I’M REALLY READING NOW
Featherstonehaugh: AND WHAT WAS IT YOU SAID ABOUT BALKES RULES FOR WRITING AND IMAGININGS 101? SOME SORT OF HOSTILE PRIMER IN THE BACK OF THE BOOK?
Cholmondeley: THATS CORRECT. BALKES ROOLS FOR WRITING, FIRST RULE THERE ARE NO RULES, THEN THERE ARE A HUNDRED RULES. SECOND RULE EVERYONE IS A WRITER ITS DUMB TO WANT TO BE A WRITER EVERYONE IS WRITING ALL THE TIME ITS LIKE SAYING I’M A BREATHER IF YOU SAY I’M A WRITER OR WANT TO BE A WRITER PEOPLE WILL LAUGH AT YOU AND TRY TO RENDER YOUR GENITALS INTO OIL YOUR BRAIN IS WRITING ON THE SCREEN OF YOUR SKULL EVERY SECOND ITS CALLED THOUGHTS. THIRD RULE HAS TO DO WITH SOUNDSCULPTURE THE POETRY OF SCREAMS AND THE PHONICS OF SUFFERING, SURFING THE WAVE OF YOUR UNCONSCIOUS TIDAL SCREECHES AND GRUNTINGS. FOURTH RULE BRING DOWN THE CANON, FIFTH RULE BUILD YOUR OWN CANON, SIXTH RULE YOU ARE THE CANON, SEVENTH RULE, THE CANON IS AN OLD GUMWAD UNDER YOUR SEAT AT THE THEATER WHISPERING THE SONG OF SOLOMON INTO THE DARKNESS. IT KEEPS GOING LIKE THAT FOR A WHILE, THEN HE TALKS ABOUT MEAT JUICE AS A CORRECTIVE FOR WRITERS BLOCK WHICH HE REFERS TO AS LANGUAGEPLUG.
Featherstonehaugh: SOUNDS LIKE I REALLY MISSED OUT BY NOT PUTTING UP TWO BILLS FOR THE DELUXE
Cholmondeley: YOU DID YOU REALLY DID. YOUR HALFHEARTED BANDWAGON IS MIRED IN THE MUCK LOSING WHEEL SPOKES AND GETTING SHIT ON BY TIRED VULTURES. MY DELUXE BANDWAGON IS RACING PAST YOURS AND ENGULFING YOUR ASS IN A CLOUD OF EXTREMELY RIGHTEOUS PARTICULATE.
Featherstonehaugh: FAIR ENOUGH BUT I WILL REDEEM MYSELF AND CREATE MY OWN DELUXE ALICE KNOTT PACKAGE WITH THE VICIOUS WORD ART OUR GUY CREATED FOR THE FENCE AUCTION UPON WHICH NO ONE PLACED ANY BIDS AT ALL. TIME TO SWOOP IN AND GET MYSELF A BIG ASS BOARD THAT SAYS ‘MYTHIC SEED STAMPED FLAT UNDER EACH TONGUE.’ HELL FUCKING YEAH. WORDS TO LIVE BY AND UNDER. MY MAN WENT TO ALL THE TROUBLE TO PAINT (WITH BLOOD?) THE WORDS ‘BUGGERY OF COLUMNAR’ ON SOME PURE CANVAS AND THESE GODFORSAKEN PHILISTINES OUT HERE IN THE STREETS DONT KNOW ENOUGH TO BID ON SOME MAJOR NUCLEAR LEVEL ART.
Cholmondeley: NO ONE APPRECIATES BALKE LIKE WE DO. NO ONE LIVES THE CONSECUTION LIKE WE DO. NO ONE CHERISHES THE BUTLERIAN WORDSTOCK LIKE US.
Featherstonehaugh: ONLY TRUE FACTS HERE. EVERYONE GET YOUR ALICE KNOTT TICKET TO THE BALKE BADWAGONS BEFORE ITS TOO LATE.
