Featherstonehaugh: BLAKE IS BACK BABY BLAKEY BUTLER DEALING HIS NEW TOME ALICE KNOTT, PRONOUNCED ALICE KUGH-NOTT FOR THOSE IN THE KNOW.
Cholmondeley: IT HAS BEEN A WHILE FOR BLAKE MANY YEARS HAVE PASSED WHILE HE HAS SLUMBERED.
Featherstonehaugh: HE HASN’T BEEN SLUMBERING AND YOU KNOW IT. HE WAS EVOLVING. GATHERING INPUTS LIKE TWITTER BODY DEMENTIA, MEMORY PALACES, LANGUAGEGROUND AND LANGUAGESKY, SOUTHERN HIP HOP, ATLANTA POWER, NUDE DOGS, DOMESTICATEDNESS, LYNCHIANA AND RARE EARTHS.
Cholmondeley: IT IS A RECOVERY. SOME UNCHARITABLES WOULD SAY THAT BLAKE HAS FALLEN FAR FROM THE DAYS WHEN HE RULED THE ROOST AND WAS ALSO THE PREMIER FARMER OF LANGUAGEGROUND. THE ALT LIT SCENE OF WHICH HE WAS A GODHEAD LIKE TAO BASICALLY GAVE RISE TO DOZENS OF SEXUAL PREDATORS. AN INCUBATOR OF CREEPS LIKE Y COMBINATOR MAKES DUMB APPS ALT LIT MADE EMERGENT ASSAULTISTS AND DISRUPTORS IN THE REALM OF OF DATING VIOLENCE.
Featherstonehaugh: YOU KNOW YOURSELF BALKE WAS NEVER ASSOCIATED WITH THOSE MEGA CREEPERS AND STRAIGHT-UP DIPSHIT CRIMINAL FUCKS. THEY LIVED IN THE COMMENTS, BALKE LIVES IN THE POSTS. BALKE WAS LIKE AN UNDERGOURND PROMETHEUS ALWAYS TOILING IN THE SYNTAX MINES, BRINGING TO LIGHT NEW CONTRUCTIONS NEW SENTENCES NEW WORDSTOCK AND FLOW.
Cholmondeley: I HEARD A RUMOR ON THE FUCKING NET ONE OF MY FAVE PLACES FOR RUMORS.
Featherstonehaugh: GO ON YOU KNOW I LOVE IT TOO
Cholmondeley: I HEARD THIS NEW TOME ALICE KNOTT IS MEMORY AND ART AND LANGUAGEWORK PLUS BLAKE BUTLER’S DAVID MARKSON PLUS LYNCH’S DUNE.
Featherstonehaugh: A REINVENTION HE SAID A TURNING TOWARDS HE SAID. THE AVANT-GARDE MASTER DROPS HIS TOOLS OF INVENTION AND PICKS UP THE TOOLS OF CONVENTION
Cholmondeley: OR SO YOU THE READER THINKS SURPRISE THE BOOK STILL HAS TONS OF 5000-WORD PARAGRAPHS OF SLANT RHYMED SENTENCES ABOUT CHARACTERS NAMED MOTHER FATHER THE MISSING MAN CLYDE AND THE MARROWTIKE PLUS SOME CUTTING MEDITATIONS ON FRANCIS BACON PAINTINGS.
Featherstonehaugh: BLOCKS MULTIPAGE BLOCKS OF PROSE THAT APPEARS TO HAVE BEEN GENERATED BY A FASCIST ALGORITHM RAISED ON REFRIGERATOR MANUALS AND FETISH REPLY TWEETS THAT IS WHAT I PREDICTED WE WILL RECEIVE FROM MY MAN PUBLISHED ON REFORM RIVERHEAD BOOKS AND EDITED BY CALVERT MORGAN OF THE EVERTON FC CALVERT-LEWINS. AND MY PREDICTION WAS MOSTLY TRUE.
Cholmondeley: BUT THERE WAS EVEN ANOTHER NET RUMOR THAT THIS IS BALKE’S BIG SHOT AT THE BIG TIME. THE DUDE WANTS HIS NETFLIX OPTIONED SERIES HES SITTING DOWN IN ATLANTA PETTING HIS CHICKENS LIKE STEAMING OVER A HOLLYWOOD REPORTER ARTICLE THAT PATRICK SOMERVILLE GOT ANOTHER ORDER AND THINKING WITH LEGIT SALIVA FLOWING OVER HIS MOUTH-LEVEES HOW HE CAN GET A FINGER OR TWO ON THAT MANIAC MONEY HES THINKING WHERE IS MY MULTIYEAR RUN ON MR ROBOT AMELIA GRAY AND MR SAM ESMAIL. PUT ME IN COACH AND I WILL RIP SHIT ON THAT LANGUAGEVISION AKA TV
Featherstonehaugh: PUT BALKE IN THE WRITERS ROOM FOR SUCCESSION AND YOU GOT KENDALL LECTURING PEOPLE ON THE RHIZOME AND EATING HAIR IN MULTIPLE EPISODES. NO WAY THAT DOESNT BLOW THE ROOF OFF THE COUNTRY.
Cholmondeley: MY MAN WAS STRAIGHT DESERTICATING HIS OWN RETINAS WATCHING HIS PHONE WAITING FOR A RING FROM DAVID NEVINS FOR THAT TWIN PEAKS THE RETURN CALL UP TO THE BIG LEAGUES ALSO MAILING 40 COPIES OF 300,000,000 A WEEK TO LYNCH’S PUBLICIST
Featherstonehaugh: FALSE BALKE WOULDN’T EVEN WANT A PART OF WORKING FOR THE MASTER WHEN HE ALREADY SURPASSED THE MASTER LYNCH COULDN’T HEAR THE KIDS COMING UP FROM BEHIND TO TAKE HIS ASS OUT BECAUSE HE WAS MEDITATING TOO HARD AND SMOKING TOO MUCH
Cholmondeley: LYNCH ETHERED BY BALKE JUST AS BOLANO WAS FUCKING MAKES YOU SAD. WE SHOULD GET MORE INTO THE BOOK BEFORE WE HAVE TO TAKE A BREAK TO HEAR FROM OUR SPONSORS START US OFF
Featherstonehaugh: WHERE TO START HOUW ABOUT LANGUAGE MEMORY ART. ALL THE BIG ONES. NOTHING LESS THAN A FULL TREATISE EVERYBODY-CLEAR-OUT OPUS ON HUMANHOOD HUMANITY MEANING TALKITUDE LIFE STUFF AND THE STONE COLD WORLD.
Cholmondeley: DAMN
Featherstonehaugh: SPASTIC ANIMALS, LANGUAGE LOBOTOMIES AND SCRAPINGS, MEAT CUBES, FLESH DADDIES, TWO BLOOD NATIVITIES, JUST A SHIT-TON OF SINISTER ENTITIES TOO PHLEGM DEMONS AND GHOST PAINTINGS YOU KNOW. CLASSIC BALKE RAISED TO THE BLAKEST POWER FEATURING ALICE KNOTT. AS A READER WHEN YOU’VE INHABITED THIS BOOK YOU NEED TO ASK YOURSELF IF IT GETS ANY BETTER AND IF YOUR HONEST ANSWER IS YES THEN YOU NEED TO ALSO ASK YOURSELF IF YOU’RE EVEN A HUMAN OR MERELY A BIG SACK OF SHIT WITH A FACE ON IT.
Cholmondeley: DAMN THAT IS VERY FRANK FROM YOU
Featherstonehaugh: I WANT TO GET AHEAD OF THE BADWAGON HERE BEFORE EVERYONE JUMPS ON I WANT TO BE THE GUY WHO BUILDS THE BANDWAGON AND WHOS LEANING AGAINST IT SMOKING FASHIONABLY WHEN EVERYONE ELSE SHOWS UP AND TRAMPLES EACH OTHER TRYING TO JUMP ON THAT RICKETY SHIT THAT I BUILT.
Cholmondeley: ASK ME ABOUT THE DELUXE VERSION BECAUSE I’M ON THAT BANDWAGON
Featherstonehaugh: OH SORRY I FORGOT YOU SPRUNG FOR THAT ONE DID I READ RIGHT THAT IT COMES WITH WHAT THEY’RE CALLING PREMIUM OFFAL?
Cholmondeley: BLAKES FINGERNAILS HAIR BLOOD MUCUS FORMED INTO A FIREBAKED BALL PRESENTED IN A PLASTIC CASE INSIDE A VELLUM SATCHEL A DOZEN OF THOSE IN THE AUXILIARY BOX THAT COMES WITH THE DELUXE VERSION. WHEN I READ WITH TWO OF THOSE IN MY HANDS I WAS LIKE I’M REALLY READING NOW
Featherstonehaugh: AND WHAT WAS IT YOU SAID ABOUT BALKES RULES FOR WRITING AND IMAGININGS 101? SOME SORT OF HOSTILE PRIMER IN THE BACK OF THE BOOK?
Cholmondeley: THATS CORRECT. BALKES ROOLS FOR WRITING, FIRST RULE THERE ARE NO RULES, THEN THERE ARE A HUNDRED RULES. SECOND RULE EVERYONE IS A WRITER ITS DUMB TO WANT TO BE A WRITER EVERYONE IS WRITING ALL THE TIME ITS LIKE SAYING I’M A BREATHER IF YOU SAY I’M A WRITER OR WANT TO BE A WRITER PEOPLE WILL LAUGH AT YOU AND TRY TO RENDER YOUR GENITALS INTO OIL YOUR BRAIN IS WRITING ON THE SCREEN OF YOUR SKULL EVERY SECOND ITS CALLED THOUGHTS. THIRD RULE HAS TO DO WITH SOUNDSCULPTURE THE POETRY OF SCREAMS AND THE PHONICS OF SUFFERING, SURFING THE WAVE OF YOUR UNCONSCIOUS TIDAL SCREECHES AND GRUNTINGS. FOURTH RULE BRING DOWN THE CANON, FIFTH RULE BUILD YOUR OWN CANON, SIXTH RULE YOU ARE THE CANON, SEVENTH RULE, THE CANON IS AN OLD GUMWAD UNDER YOUR SEAT AT THE THEATER WHISPERING THE SONG OF SOLOMON INTO THE DARKNESS. IT KEEPS GOING LIKE THAT FOR A WHILE, THEN HE TALKS ABOUT MEAT JUICE AS A CORRECTIVE FOR WRITERS BLOCK WHICH HE REFERS TO AS LANGUAGEPLUG.
Featherstonehaugh: SOUNDS LIKE I REALLY MISSED OUT BY NOT PUTTING UP TWO BILLS FOR THE DELUXE
Cholmondeley: YOU DID YOU REALLY DID. YOUR HALFHEARTED BANDWAGON IS MIRED IN THE MUCK LOSING WHEEL SPOKES AND GETTING SHIT ON BY TIRED VULTURES. MY DELUXE BANDWAGON IS RACING PAST YOURS AND ENGULFING YOUR ASS IN A CLOUD OF EXTREMELY RIGHTEOUS PARTICULATE.
Featherstonehaugh: FAIR ENOUGH BUT I WILL REDEEM MYSELF AND CREATE MY OWN DELUXE ALICE KNOTT PACKAGE WITH THE VICIOUS WORD ART OUR GUY CREATED FOR THE FENCE AUCTION UPON WHICH NO ONE PLACED ANY BIDS AT ALL. TIME TO SWOOP IN AND GET MYSELF A BIG ASS BOARD THAT SAYS ‘MYTHIC SEED STAMPED FLAT UNDER EACH TONGUE.’ HELL FUCKING YEAH. WORDS TO LIVE BY AND UNDER. MY MAN WENT TO ALL THE TROUBLE TO PAINT (WITH BLOOD?) THE WORDS ‘BUGGERY OF COLUMNAR’ ON SOME PURE CANVAS AND THESE GODFORSAKEN PHILISTINES OUT HERE IN THE STREETS DONT KNOW ENOUGH TO BID ON SOME MAJOR NUCLEAR LEVEL ART.
Cholmondeley: NO ONE APPRECIATES BALKE LIKE WE DO. NO ONE LIVES THE CONSECUTION LIKE WE DO. NO ONE CHERISHES THE BUTLERIAN WORDSTOCK LIKE US.
Featherstonehaugh: ONLY TRUE FACTS HERE. EVERYONE GET YOUR ALICE KNOTT TICKET TO THE BALKE BADWAGONS BEFORE ITS TOO LATE.
Saturday, October 5, 2019
Thursday, July 16, 2015
THESE ARE THE SELECTED TWEETS OF TAO AND MIRA THAT WILL CHANGE YOUR LIFE FOREVER REVIEW
Featherstonehaugh: THE RETURN OF KING TAO! BEGINNING THE REPUTATION RECOVERY PROGRAM PRESCRIBED BY HIS AGENT AND ADVISORS WHO SEEK TO RECOUP THEIR MONEY AND GET THE LINTERNET-$$$-EXPRESS BACK ONLINE.
Cholmondeley: WITH A BOOK CO-WRITTEN WITH A FEMALE AUTHOR, VERY IMPORTANT THERE, AS THOUGH THE BOOK ITSELF IS SAYING, LOOK, THERE WAS SOME ILL SHIT THAT WENT DOWN IN THE PAST THAT EVERYONE SAW COMING BUT NO ONE, SOMEHOW, COULD BRING THEMSELVES TO FUCKING ACKNOWLEDGE OR CONFRONT FOR WHATEVER HORRIBLE DELUDED SELF-INTERESTED? REASONS, BUT NOW, HEY, TAO IS GREAT WITH WOMEN, HONEY! HE WRITES BOOKS WITH THEM AND CORRESPONDS, NON-PREDATORILY, WITH THEM ON TWITTER SOMETIMES WHO KNOWS? THIS BOOK.
Featherstonehaugh: THAT’S THE SUBTITLE OF THE BOOK ISN’T IT? A GOOD LOOK THERE FOR HOBART, WHO HAVE ZERO VESTED INTEREST IN RESURRECTING TAO AND MAKING SURE SOME PEOPLE ARE VINDICATED FOR WRITING REASONED AND RATIONAL AND EVEN-HANDED AND TOTALLY PITCH PERFECT DEFENSES OF LIN.
Cholmondeley: HOBART, THE PROUD HOME OF MICHELLE ORANGE’S GORGEOUS THE SICILY PAPERS, A BEAUTIFUL LITTLE BOOK, FULL OF ACTUAL HUMAN INSIGHT AND WONDERFUL PROSE, NOW RELEASING A PAMPHLET OF PRINTED TWEETS.
Featherstonehaugh: I WOULD ARGUE THAT HOBART IS JUST CHASING LITERATURE, MY FRIEND, BECAUSE LITERATURE CAN COME FROM ANYONE AND ANYWHERE. FROM THE MIND OF A CREEP SUPREME ON A SOCIAL MEDIA PLATFORM? YES. FROM A TOILET DEMON WHO HAS SCRIBED HIS AUTOBIOGRAPHY ON ROLLS OF INSTITUTIONAL TP? YES. FROM A PACK OF DOGS GROUPED IN FRIGHTENING FORMATION AND BARKING ABOUT BENGHAZI? YES.
Cholmondeley: TWITTER LIT IS PRIME LIT FOR THIS TIME OUR TIME. SOME HATERS MIGHT SAY ABOUT THIS TAOMIRA BOOK HAH TWEETS ARE EPHEMERAL SHIT I COULD SCROLL BACK IN TIMELINES AND READ THE SAME BY FOLLOWING THE INTERACTIONS OF THE PSYCHOTROPIC ORGANIC KOMBUCHA COLLECTIVE.
Featherstonehaugh: BUT THOSE HATERS WOULD BE WRONG.
Cholmondeley: AS WRONG AS YOU CAN BE AND STILL BE A HUMAN. MAYBE WRONG ENOUGH TO SLIP BACK INTO APEHOOD ACTUALLY.
Featherstonehaugh: HATERS DON’T UNDERSTAND THAT THE MAGIC OF TAOMIRA COMES FROM WHAT TWEETS SAY ABOUT YOUTH NOW AND HOW AFFECTING BANALITY CAN BE. THIS IS REBELLION AGAINST BOURGEOIS NORMATIVE PERSONHOOD. THIS IS REBELLION AGAINST OLD INDUSTRIAL WAYS OF LIVING. THIS IS CASTING OFF THE SHACKLES OF THE WORLD’S PRECONCEPTIONS OF WHAT CONSTITUTES ART WRITING CONTENT OR BOOKS. ITS BASICALLY LIKE IF MARCEL DUCHAMP ON DRUGS AND DEPRESSED WROTE A LIST OF HOUSEHOLD NOUNS AND SMALL ANIMALS AND SENT TELEGRAMS OF SAME TO SYLVIA PLATH ON DRUGS LACED WITH DRUGS AND THEN HAD A SAD NEWSBOY TRANSCRIBE THE TELEGRAMS USING ONLY A BROKEN CRAYON IN HIS MOUTH AND A LARGE SCRAP OF FOOLSCAP THEN THE MANUSCRIPT IS GIVEN TO A PRINTER WHO IS DESPERATE AND MOTIVATED BY A SHOT AT REDEMPTION.
Cholmondeley: THAT’S A LITTLE OVERWROUGHT. I THINK ITS JUST SOME STUFF THAT BOTH PEOPLE HAD LYING AROUND AND THEY WERE LIKE OH MAYBE WE CAN PUT OUT A LOW KEY LITTLE THING THAT BENEFITS ALL PARTIES WHY NOT AND MAYBE SOME OF THE OLD LINTERNET WILL RECONVENE AROUND THIS AND BE LIKE HEY TAO’S NOT EVIL ANYMORE LOOK.
Featherstonehaugh: NEXT COMES THE PROFILE IN A MID-TIER MAGAZINE THAT’S LIKE WHERE’S TAO NOW→HE NEVER LEFT. HES ALWAYS BEEN HERE TWEETING HIS HEART OUT AND WRITING THE AVANTGARDIEST SHIT SO CONCRETE AND REAL AS FUCK. BROOKLYN. BIG PULL QUOTE: I THINK PEOPLE MADE UP THEIR MINDS BEFORE THEY HEARD MY REAL STORY WHICH WAS DIFFERENT FROM THE AUTOBIOGRAPHICAL AND COURAGEOUS TRUE BOOK I WROTE ALL ABOUT THE ALLEGED INCIDENTS, THE REAL THING WAS TOTALLY DIFFERENT AND NOT AT ALL HOW PEOPLE THINK NOW I’M BACK TO ART INSTEAD OF ABUSE, FIN.---TAO.
Cholmondeley: I THINK READERS HAVE NEVER UNDERSTOOD THAT NARRATIVE CAN BE FRAGMENTED LIKE LIFE IS FRAGMENTED HAVE YOU EVER THOUGHT THAT? I BET YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND THAT BECAUSE YOU’RE NOT YOUNG AND FRAGMENTED LIKE THE AUTHORS OR PROBABLE AUDIENCE OF THIS BOOK. YOU LIVE A LIFE OF SMOOTH CONTINUITY LIKE SOME SORT OF PRE-GUTENBERG PEASANT UGH.
Featherstonehaugh: ITS TRUE THAT MY LIFE IS A SEAMLESS CONCATENATION BUT THAT’S NEITHER HERE NOR THERE. WHATS IMPORTANT IS THIS: MODERN REAL LIFE = FRAGMENTATION = TWEETS = YOUTH = ONLINE = ‘POETRY’ = DEPRESSION AND LONELINESS = ALTERNATIVES TO MAINSTREAM SO-CALLED LITERATURE.
Cholmondeley: I DON’T THINK ANYONE’S EVER PUBLISHED A BOOK OF TWEETS HAVE THEY?
Featherstonehaugh: AT LEAST NOT KNOWLINGLY FROM AN ALLEGED STATUATOR—
Cholmondeley: WATCH IT. I THINK YOU MEAN FROM THE GODHEAD OF ALT-LIT. THE DUDE HIMSELF. HE WAITS IN HIS LAIR AND BIDES SOMETHING.
Featherstonehaugh: REFRESHING GOOGLE ALERTS ENDLESSLY. AND GMAIL. AND 10000 TABS.
Cholmondeley: TIGHTENING HIS GRIP PERHAPS ON SOMETHING FAR AWAY.
Cholmondeley: WITH A BOOK CO-WRITTEN WITH A FEMALE AUTHOR, VERY IMPORTANT THERE, AS THOUGH THE BOOK ITSELF IS SAYING, LOOK, THERE WAS SOME ILL SHIT THAT WENT DOWN IN THE PAST THAT EVERYONE SAW COMING BUT NO ONE, SOMEHOW, COULD BRING THEMSELVES TO FUCKING ACKNOWLEDGE OR CONFRONT FOR WHATEVER HORRIBLE DELUDED SELF-INTERESTED? REASONS, BUT NOW, HEY, TAO IS GREAT WITH WOMEN, HONEY! HE WRITES BOOKS WITH THEM AND CORRESPONDS, NON-PREDATORILY, WITH THEM ON TWITTER SOMETIMES WHO KNOWS? THIS BOOK.
Featherstonehaugh: THAT’S THE SUBTITLE OF THE BOOK ISN’T IT? A GOOD LOOK THERE FOR HOBART, WHO HAVE ZERO VESTED INTEREST IN RESURRECTING TAO AND MAKING SURE SOME PEOPLE ARE VINDICATED FOR WRITING REASONED AND RATIONAL AND EVEN-HANDED AND TOTALLY PITCH PERFECT DEFENSES OF LIN.
Cholmondeley: HOBART, THE PROUD HOME OF MICHELLE ORANGE’S GORGEOUS THE SICILY PAPERS, A BEAUTIFUL LITTLE BOOK, FULL OF ACTUAL HUMAN INSIGHT AND WONDERFUL PROSE, NOW RELEASING A PAMPHLET OF PRINTED TWEETS.
Featherstonehaugh: I WOULD ARGUE THAT HOBART IS JUST CHASING LITERATURE, MY FRIEND, BECAUSE LITERATURE CAN COME FROM ANYONE AND ANYWHERE. FROM THE MIND OF A CREEP SUPREME ON A SOCIAL MEDIA PLATFORM? YES. FROM A TOILET DEMON WHO HAS SCRIBED HIS AUTOBIOGRAPHY ON ROLLS OF INSTITUTIONAL TP? YES. FROM A PACK OF DOGS GROUPED IN FRIGHTENING FORMATION AND BARKING ABOUT BENGHAZI? YES.
Cholmondeley: TWITTER LIT IS PRIME LIT FOR THIS TIME OUR TIME. SOME HATERS MIGHT SAY ABOUT THIS TAOMIRA BOOK HAH TWEETS ARE EPHEMERAL SHIT I COULD SCROLL BACK IN TIMELINES AND READ THE SAME BY FOLLOWING THE INTERACTIONS OF THE PSYCHOTROPIC ORGANIC KOMBUCHA COLLECTIVE.
Featherstonehaugh: BUT THOSE HATERS WOULD BE WRONG.
Cholmondeley: AS WRONG AS YOU CAN BE AND STILL BE A HUMAN. MAYBE WRONG ENOUGH TO SLIP BACK INTO APEHOOD ACTUALLY.
Featherstonehaugh: HATERS DON’T UNDERSTAND THAT THE MAGIC OF TAOMIRA COMES FROM WHAT TWEETS SAY ABOUT YOUTH NOW AND HOW AFFECTING BANALITY CAN BE. THIS IS REBELLION AGAINST BOURGEOIS NORMATIVE PERSONHOOD. THIS IS REBELLION AGAINST OLD INDUSTRIAL WAYS OF LIVING. THIS IS CASTING OFF THE SHACKLES OF THE WORLD’S PRECONCEPTIONS OF WHAT CONSTITUTES ART WRITING CONTENT OR BOOKS. ITS BASICALLY LIKE IF MARCEL DUCHAMP ON DRUGS AND DEPRESSED WROTE A LIST OF HOUSEHOLD NOUNS AND SMALL ANIMALS AND SENT TELEGRAMS OF SAME TO SYLVIA PLATH ON DRUGS LACED WITH DRUGS AND THEN HAD A SAD NEWSBOY TRANSCRIBE THE TELEGRAMS USING ONLY A BROKEN CRAYON IN HIS MOUTH AND A LARGE SCRAP OF FOOLSCAP THEN THE MANUSCRIPT IS GIVEN TO A PRINTER WHO IS DESPERATE AND MOTIVATED BY A SHOT AT REDEMPTION.
Cholmondeley: THAT’S A LITTLE OVERWROUGHT. I THINK ITS JUST SOME STUFF THAT BOTH PEOPLE HAD LYING AROUND AND THEY WERE LIKE OH MAYBE WE CAN PUT OUT A LOW KEY LITTLE THING THAT BENEFITS ALL PARTIES WHY NOT AND MAYBE SOME OF THE OLD LINTERNET WILL RECONVENE AROUND THIS AND BE LIKE HEY TAO’S NOT EVIL ANYMORE LOOK.
Featherstonehaugh: NEXT COMES THE PROFILE IN A MID-TIER MAGAZINE THAT’S LIKE WHERE’S TAO NOW→HE NEVER LEFT. HES ALWAYS BEEN HERE TWEETING HIS HEART OUT AND WRITING THE AVANTGARDIEST SHIT SO CONCRETE AND REAL AS FUCK. BROOKLYN. BIG PULL QUOTE: I THINK PEOPLE MADE UP THEIR MINDS BEFORE THEY HEARD MY REAL STORY WHICH WAS DIFFERENT FROM THE AUTOBIOGRAPHICAL AND COURAGEOUS TRUE BOOK I WROTE ALL ABOUT THE ALLEGED INCIDENTS, THE REAL THING WAS TOTALLY DIFFERENT AND NOT AT ALL HOW PEOPLE THINK NOW I’M BACK TO ART INSTEAD OF ABUSE, FIN.---TAO.
Cholmondeley: I THINK READERS HAVE NEVER UNDERSTOOD THAT NARRATIVE CAN BE FRAGMENTED LIKE LIFE IS FRAGMENTED HAVE YOU EVER THOUGHT THAT? I BET YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND THAT BECAUSE YOU’RE NOT YOUNG AND FRAGMENTED LIKE THE AUTHORS OR PROBABLE AUDIENCE OF THIS BOOK. YOU LIVE A LIFE OF SMOOTH CONTINUITY LIKE SOME SORT OF PRE-GUTENBERG PEASANT UGH.
Featherstonehaugh: ITS TRUE THAT MY LIFE IS A SEAMLESS CONCATENATION BUT THAT’S NEITHER HERE NOR THERE. WHATS IMPORTANT IS THIS: MODERN REAL LIFE = FRAGMENTATION = TWEETS = YOUTH = ONLINE = ‘POETRY’ = DEPRESSION AND LONELINESS = ALTERNATIVES TO MAINSTREAM SO-CALLED LITERATURE.
Cholmondeley: I DON’T THINK ANYONE’S EVER PUBLISHED A BOOK OF TWEETS HAVE THEY?
Featherstonehaugh: AT LEAST NOT KNOWLINGLY FROM AN ALLEGED STATUATOR—
Cholmondeley: WATCH IT. I THINK YOU MEAN FROM THE GODHEAD OF ALT-LIT. THE DUDE HIMSELF. HE WAITS IN HIS LAIR AND BIDES SOMETHING.
Featherstonehaugh: REFRESHING GOOGLE ALERTS ENDLESSLY. AND GMAIL. AND 10000 TABS.
Cholmondeley: TIGHTENING HIS GRIP PERHAPS ON SOMETHING FAR AWAY.
Friday, June 14, 2013
QUESTIONS ABOUT A QUESTIONABLE SHAPE MADE BY BENNETT SIMS AND ZOMBIEING AND NOTHINGNESS
Featherstonehaugh: SOME HORRIBLE PART OF ME THINKS THEY HELD AUDITIONS FOR THIS BOOK AND BENNETT SIMS BECAME ITS AUTHOR AND LEADING MAN THROUGH HIS SHEER HANDSOMENESS WHICH IN ALL TRUTH IS VERY HANDSOME INDEED.
Cholmondeley: THAT IS A HORRIBLE AND CYNICAL PART OF YOU THE SAME PART OF YOU THAT TOLD ME ONCE THAT YOU WANTED TO GO BACK IN TIME TO MAKE INTENSE AND NON-CATHOLIC LOVE TO A PRE-LUPUS FLANNERY O’CONNOR.
Featherstonehaugh: THERE IS A LUSTFUL AND WEIRDLY LITERARY HOMUNCULUS IN MY HEAD WHAT CAN I SAY. SPEAKING OF HOMUNCULI WHICH APPEAR SOMETIMES IN PHILOSOPHY PARABLES THIS QUESTIONABLE SHAPE IS ALSO SUPPOSEDLY AN EXTENDED PHILOSOPHICAL RIFF.
Cholmondeley: I COULD TELL THAT FROM WORD FUCKING ONE SO I’M WAY AHEAD OF YOU ON THAT. A QUESTIONABLE SHAPE HAS BEEN FASHIONED BY BENNETT SIMS AS LIKE THE COOL SPIN-OFF OF THOUGHT-EPISODES BY HARDCORE DUDE PHILOSOPHERS LIKE DAVID CHALMERS. WITH MORE ACTION AND SEX AND POOLS OF LIGHT AND DFW.
Featherstonehaugh: DOES IT TAKE PLACE IN DALLAS FORT-WORTH OR I THOUGHT IT WAS IN LOUISIANA OR SOMETHING
Cholmondeley: DAVID FOSTER WALLACE DFW. WHO WAS THE TEACHER OF BENNETT SIMS. YOU CAN SEE THIS IN BENNETT’S USE OF THE WORD LORDOTIC IN INTERVIEWS. HE STUDIED UNDER THE HOLY BANDANA OF THE MAN HIMSELF. THEN WENT TO IOWA WHERE WRITING WAS FIRST BORN AND THEN QUICKLY PERFECTED. BUT REALLY PERFECTED NOW BY BENNETT.
Featherstonehaugh: OH RIGHT I GET IT ALL NOW. THESE ASPECTS OF BENNETT’S WRITING THAT I THOUGHT WERE NOT QUITE ORIGINAL OR THAT I FELT LIKE I HAD SEEN IN THE OTHER COPYRIGHTED BOOKS OF OTHER AUTHORS ARE ACTUALLY VERY SUBTLE AND POWERFULLY INTENSE HOMAGE AND REFERENCE JUST LIKE DFW (PBUH) WOULD HAVE WANTED.
Cholmondeley: CORRECT. A QUESTIONABLE SHAPE IS FICTION THAT QUESTIONS THE VERY IDEA OF FICTION AND THE CONCEPT OF AUTHORSHIP. WAS THIS BOOK WRITTEN OR MANUFACTURED OR MERELY STITCHED TOGETHER? YOU NOR I NOR GOD WILL EVER KNOW.
Featherstonehaugh: SO THE PART THAT SOUNDS SO MUCH LIKE ONE OF THE MOST AMAZING PARTS IN COLSON WHITEHEAD’S COLOSSUS OF NEW YORK IS LIKE BENNETT SAYING I’VE READ THAT SHIT TOO PEOPLE WINK VIA A FOOTNOTE IN MY BOOK.
Cholmondeley: AND THEN BECAUSE HE’S CHALLENGING CONCEPTS OF ORIGINALITY WITH SUCH BRAVADO HE FEELS FREE AND AWESOME AND FULL OF SUGARY CONFIDENCE ENOUGH TO TALK SHIT ABOUT HOW HE WAS WRITING HIS BOOK WHEN HE WAS TWELVE AND COLSON WHITEHEAD WAS STILL WRITING CAT FOOD REVIEWS FOR VILLAGE VOICE AND HADN’T EVEN HEARD OF ZOMBIES YET AND DIDN’T KNOW WHAT BOOKS WERE.
Featherstonehaugh: THAT’S JUST GOOD MARKETING. MAKING MOVES ETC. DUDE HAS GOT TO HUSTLE TO SHOW PEOPLE HE’S SERIOUS WHICH MIGHT BE THE REASON BEHIND THE TRASH-TALKING BACKED WITH FRIGHTENINGLY AGGRESSIVE SELF-DEPRECATION.
Cholmondeley: WELLS TOWER WHO HAS NOT COMPLETED A NOVEL HAS CALLED BENNETT SIMS A NEW VOICE OF SOMETHING WHO WRITES LIKE A GIANT WITH THE PENIS OF A DINOSAUR READY TO FUCK THE WORLD TO DEATH PLUS NABOKOV.
Featherstonehaugh: THAT WAS HIS BLURB VERBATIM WAS IT NOT?
Cholmondeley: I THINK WELLS HAS BROKEN THE EMPIRICAL LIMITS OF NARCOTICS CONSUMPTION.
Featherstonehaugh: I HOPE THIS QUESTIONABLE SHAPE IS TURNED INTO A NETFLIX SERIES LIKE HEMLOCK GROVE!
Cholmondeley: IF THERE IS ANY JUSTICE IN THIS WORLD IT WILL BE. SO IT’S NOT A BIG DEAL THAT IN THAT EXCERPT ON WHAT USED TO BE ELECTRIC LITERATURE BUT WHICH IS NOW I GUESS THE PREMIER OUTLET FOR WHIMSICAL FLASKS RECOMMENDED READING I THINK ITS CALLED THERE WAS AN IDEA THAT SEEMED STRAIGHT LIFTED FROM WHITEHEAD’S WORK BUT MAYBE THAT’S BECAUSE HIS STUFF IS IN THE PUBLIC DOMAIN NOW.
Featherstonehaugh: EVEN ELECTRIC LITERATURE’S OTHER OTHER OTHER THING SAID THIS BOOK IS COOL BUT ALSO LIKE A THOUSAND OTHER BOOKS I GUESS MY QUESTION IS WHY PUBLISH IT THEN?
Cholmondeley: DUMB QUESTION WHEN THIS BOOK WAS BEING PRODUCED THE PRODUCERS WERE LIKE HERE WE GO WE HAVE GOT THIS BOOK DON’T ASK WHERE IT CAME FROM BECAUSE ITS HERE ALREADY AND ITS INFINITE JEST PLUS WALKING DEAD PLUS SOME BLOW YOUR SOCKS OFF OTHER BULLSHIT LIKE FOOTNOTES AND HEADNOTES WHAT ELSE DO YOU NEED TO KNOW START PRINTING WE’LL CAST THE AUTHOR LATER IN POST.
Featherstonehaugh: THAT SOUNDS LIKELY. SO PITCHING HUH. SO NEXT TIME I’LL SELL MY MANUSCRIPT BY SAYING ITS KAREN RUSSELL BUT WITH A SHITLOAD OF HARDCORE SEX AND THE TWEENESS TURNED DOWN FROM ‘EARLY BELLE & SEBASTIAN’ TO ‘JUNO’ AND WITH MUMMIES. ITS CALLED DUSTFUCKER.
Cholmondeley: SOLD!
Featherstonehaugh: PICTURE THIS WE OPEN THE PARAGRAPH ON THE WORD BALLS. ITS NOT WHAT YOU'RE THINKING. ITS VERY ZEN. ITS CHAD HARBACH WITH A TMZ FILTER AND A HINT OF TAO LIN. TITLE: SIDDHARTHA 2: BACK TO THE MINORS.
Cholmondeley: I WOULD READ THAT I WOULD READ THAT A HUNDRED TIMES. MINE WOULD JUST BE SOMETHING LIKE, HEY YOU BIPED, YOU ENJOY STORIES ABOUT OTHER BIPEDS, WHAT ABOUT THE BEST STORY?
Featherstonehaugh: MY INTEREST IS PIQUED.
Cholmondeley: GATSBY AS PLAYED BY INSECTS WHO HAVE 3DPRINTERS WHICH JAY INSECT USES TO REPRODUCE DAISY INSECT EVERY WEEK. THEN THINGS GO WRONG BOTH SEXUALLY AND TECHNICALLY. TOLD IN THE COLD DUDE-PROSE OF A CHAD KULTGEN. ITS CALLED GNATSBY.
Featherstonehaugh: FSG ARE YOU READING THIS? KNOPF WILL PIP YOU TO THIS ONE UNLESS YOU ACT SWIFTLY AND RUTHLESSLY.
Cholmondeley: CHEERS FRIEND.
Tuesday, November 13, 2012
BLAKE BUTLER 300,000,000 PREVIEW ADVANCE REVIEW
Featherstonehaugh: I’LL SAY FIRST OFF THAT THE ADVANCE READER’S COPY CAME IN
A BOX FILLED WITH WHAT I THINK IS HUMAN HAIR
Cholmondeley: BOLD CHOICES AND VERTICAL ARTISTIC INTEGRATION BY HARPER PERENNIAL. YOU GET A SENSE OF THIS BOOK BEFORE YOUR FINGERS HAVE EVEN PENETRATED IT.
Featherstonehaugh: FAIR PLAY TO BLAKE BUTLER AND HIS GOOD BUDDY CALVERT MORGAN FOR MARKETING THIS THING TO THE UTMOST AND IN THE AVANT-GARDIEST WAY POSSIBLE.
Cholmondeley: I THOUGHT THAT BALKE’S PROMISE TO EAT A BABY EVERY DAY FOR EVERY DAY THE BOOK REMAINS IN AMAZON’S TOP SELLERS LIST WAS A LITTLE OVER THE TOP BUT MAYBE THAT’S ME BEING SQUEAMISH AND OVERLY PRO-BABY.
Featherstonehaugh: IT SEEMED IN CHARACTER FOR HIM THOUGH IN ALL TRUTH YOU CAN’T SAY YOU DIDN’T SEE IT COMING.
Cholmondeley: SHOULD WE TALK ABOUT THE BOOK. SHOULD WE TALK ABOUT WHAT WE TALK ABOUT WHEN WE TALK ABOUT 300,000,000. CARVER REFERENCE DID YOU NOTICE I MADE IT PERHAPS TOO EXPLICIT.
Featherstonehaugh: CARVER HAS NO PLACE HERE FRIEND. WE’RE TALKING BUTLER BOLANO COOPER DELEUZE GUATTARI KORESH AND THE EVERLASTING PROMISE OF THE SOUND ENGINE THAT IS SILENT PROSE PRINTED SILENTLY ON THE PAGE AND READ SILENTLY BY MOST IF NOT ALL HUMANS.
Cholmondeley: WE’LL COME TO THE SOUNDSPORTS AT PLAY IN THIS BOOK LATER BUT FOR NOW LET’S FOCUS ON THE REPUDIATION SOME MIGHT SAY ANNIHILATION ? OF BOLANO BY THIS BOOK. BALKE HAS GONE ON RECORD IN MULTIPLE BLOG POSTS AND IN CONCATENATED INFINITIES OF COMMENT CHAINS THAT BOLANO IS A TALENTLESS ARTISAN WHO WRITES BLOCKS OF WORD-OFFAL THAT NOT ONLY BORE BUTLER TO SLEEP WHICH IS REMARKABLE SINCE BUTLER WROTE SEVEN BOOKS ABOUT HOW HE ONLY SLEEPS ONE HEAVILY MEDICATED HOUR PER WEEK BUT BOLANO’S WRITING ALSO MAKES HIM WANT TO SET HIMSELF ON FIRE LIKE THE MONK AND THEN COME BACK TO LIFE AS A GHOST ARSONIST SO HE CAN SET HIS OWN ASHES ON FIRE AGAIN. WHICH IS A STRONGLY NEGATIVE REVIEW OF BOLANO WHO WE SHOULD SAY IS DEAD AND CANNOT DEFEND HIMSELF.
Featherstonehaugh: 300,000,000 OBLITERATES BOLANO SO IT’S PROBABLY FOR THE BEST THAT HE’S DEAD BECAUSE I CAN IMAGINE HIM GETTING THIS ADVANCE READER’S COPY AND BEING LIKE IN SPANISH WELL THIS AMERICAN JUST OWNED ME AT MY OWN GAME SO HANDILY AND WITH SUCH BRUTALLY FUCKED LANGUAGE THAT I MIGHT AS WELL FORFEIT MY LIFE BECAUSE BALKE HAS TRIUMPHED OVER ME LIKE BARCELONA OVER LOWLY OSASUNA 12,000 GOALS TO NIL AND IT’S NOT EVEN HALFTIME YET AND THE COACH IS SWEATING BLOOD AND AT LEAST 80% OF THE OSASUNA FANS HAVE COMMITTED SUICIDE WITH THEIR PROGRAMS BY PAPER- CUTTING THEIR WRISTS TO THE BONE, FUCK. BOLANO WOULD THEN ASSUREDLY SIGN OVER HIS LIFETIME ROYALTIES TO BUTLER IN A SORT OF WEAK MOVE TO APPEASE BUTLER AND EXPIATE HIMSELF FROM THE SHITTINESS OF HIS OWN WORK AS IF TO SAY FORGIVE ME WORLD.
Cholmondeley: AND THE WORLD WOULD NOT FORGIVE HIM.
Featherstonehaugh: NO WAY.
Cholmondeley: SO NOW THAT WE’VE SET THINGS UP SO TO SPEAK WHAT WERE YOUR FAVORITE PARTS OF THE BOOK
Featherstonehaugh: I LIKED ALL THE MEAT HAMMERS IN THE BOOK. IN FACT ALL THE MEAT TOOLS AND BALLOONS WERE REALLY COOL AND FUNNY. AND THE 100 PAGES IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BOOK WITH A SINGLE WORD EACH WERE ALSO A FAVORITE. AND THE SEEMINGLY BUT NOT REALLY RANDOM REFERENCES TO DAVID FOSTER WALLACE EVEN IN PASSAGES THAT WERE SUPERFICIALLY CONCERNED WITH THE GELATINIZATION OF MUTANT BABY’S BONES YOU KNOW THE SCENE I’M TALKING ABOUT.
Cholmondeley: OH MAN THAT KILLED ME SO ROMANTIC TOO. IF THERE’S ONE THING BALKE IS REALLY GOOD AT IT’S BLOWING MY MIND AND MY MIND’S INNER EAR WITH SWEET NOTHINGS ABOUT DISSOLVING BONES AND EVIL MOTHERS WISTFULLY JERKING OFF THEIR DOWGS WHO QUOTE FROM DFW’S COMMENCEMENT SPEECH WHEN THEY CLIMAX LIKE THIS IS WATER BABE FEEL IT. I CRIED.
Featherstonehaugh: ME TOO. AND THE POETRY OF IT ALL.
Cholmondeley: DON’T EVEN GET ME STARTED.
Featherstonehaugh: DO YOU THINK THIS BOOK IS LIKE IF TUPAC AND BIGGIE SPENT 1000 YEARS TOGETHER FREESTYLING ON THE SUBJECTS OF VIOLENCE DEATH MEAT MOTHERS FATHERS KIDS BLOOD SLEEPING DREAMS CULTS RELIGION GOD AND MURDER AND THEN TRANSCRIBED THOSE FREESTYLES INTO PROSE WITH APPROPRIATELY DEVASTATING LINE BREAKS AND THEN WERE MADE TO LEARN ABOUT THE RHIZOME
Cholmondeley: THAT WAS MY FIRST THOUGHT BUT THEN WHEN I GOT DEEPER INTO THE SOUNDSCAPE OF THE SENTENCES I DECIDED THAT YOU CANNOT UNDERSTAND THIS BOOK WITHOUT UNDERSTANDING ITS MUSIC AND THE UNDERHUM OF SONG FOUND THROUGHOUT EVEN THE PUNCTUATION VIBRATES IN MY HEAD EACH PERIOD HIT LIKE A GONG EACH COMMA’S TAIL LIKE A VIOLIN’S FILIGREED VIBRATO
Featherstonehaugh: EXPLAIN BECAUSE I THOUGHT MY THING ABOUT BIGGIE AND TUPAC WAS ON THE MONEY AND ALMOST LIKE A BLURB’S DREAM OF A BLURB.
Cholmondeley: WELL CAN I BREAK IT DOWN FOR YOU LIKE THIS ALMOST EVERYONE’S PROSE HAS NO MUSIC TO IT OR IF THERE IS MUSIC IT’S LIKE THE MUSIC MADE BY A HARMONICALLY UNINTERESTING REFRIGERATOR I.E. FLAT COLD AND DRONING.
Featherstonehaugh: I’M WITH YOU I THINK
Cholmondeley: THE MUSIC OF BALKE’S PROSE IS BOTH PROFOUND AND UNSETTLING AND IF YOU WERE TO TRANSCRIBE THE NOTES THAT HE HITS AND THE RHYTHM OF THESE PARAGRAPHS YOU WOULD FIND YOURSELF SHAKEN AND TIRED BUT HOLDING THE SCORE TO THE LONGEST ANGELO BADALAMENTI SYMPHONY EVER PRODUCED IF ANGELO WERE ALSO IN POSSESSION OF GOD’S COURAGE AND KNOWLEDGE.
Featherstonehaugh: WHEW.
Cholmondeley: I MEAN LIKE WE SAID BEFORE MOST PEOPLE ARE DUMB ANIMALS WHO READ BOOKS BECAUSE THEY WANT STORIES THAT SHOW THEM A DIFFERENT WAY OF LIFE OR GIVE THEM AN INTERESTING NARRATIVE OR SOME KIND OF CATHARSIS BUT THOSE PEOPLE ALSO READ FICTION WITHOUT BEING ATTUNED TO THE NATURAL SOUND-EMITTING PROPERTIES OF PRINTED WORDS
Featherstonehaugh: WHICH I THINK WE CAN AGREE IS SOMETHING A PROPER OR TRUE READER MUST BE AWARE OF OR THEY’RE MISSING THE WHOLE POINT OF FICTION. JUST LIKE IF YOU DIDN’T PAY ATTENTION TO THE COLORS MADE BY CERTAIN WINDS OR THE SMELLS INHERENT IN SOME MUSIC. IT’S LIKE GET OUT OF THE KITCHEN IF YOU CAN’T TAKE THE HEAT OR UNDERSTAND ITS SWEET KEENING SONG AND VELVETY TEXTURE.
Cholmondeley: RIGHT. I GO TO FICTION IN GENERAL FOR THE SOUND OF IT ALL SO WHAT I’M SAYING IS DON’T COME AT ME WITH YOUR HALF-ASSED LULLABIES JONATHAN FRANZEN AND DON’T COME AT ME WITH YOUR RHYTHMICALLY IGNORANT JINGLES ZADIE SMITH AND DON’T COME AT ME WITH YOUR CLOYING AUDIOCIDES BEN LERNER POET TURNED NOVELIST IMPOSTER!
Featherstonehaugh: OKAY CALM DOWN WE’RE BOTH PASSIONATE ABOUT THIS
Cholmondeley: WHAT BALKE DOES IS RECOGNIZE THE SONG IN EVERY SYLLABLE AND ARRANGE THOSE SONGS INTO WORDS AND THOSE WORDS INTO DELICATELY BALANCED AND MELLIFLUOUS OR CACOPHONOUS SENTENCES BY DESIGN ALWAYS AND THOSE SENTENCES INTO BOOKS. MOST AUTHORS IGNORE THE 100% PATENT ADVANTAGE THAT PROSE HOLDS OVER OTHER MEDIA LIKE TELEVISION AND FILM AND THAT IS THAT THE INNER VOICE OF EVERY READER SCREAM-SINGS EACH WORD IN THE READER’S HEAD AS IT READS AND WHAT YOU WANT PLAYING UP THERE IS AN INDELIBLE AND EMOTIONALLY COMPLEX MUSIC. THAT IS WHAT STAYS WITH READERS THE ECHO OF THE INNER SONG OF A BOOK. NOT THE CHARACTERS OR THE THEMES OR THE MEANING OR THE DESCRIPTIONS OR THE EMOTIONS OR THE PLOT. I CAN STILL HUM THE ENTIRETY OF DENNIS COOPER’S MARBLED SWARM AND I HAVE GOTTEN LAID THREE TIMES BECAUSE OF THAT.
Featherstonehaugh: BRAGGING. THOUGH I SEE WHAT YOU MEAN. IT’S LIKE BALKE IS THE TOM HULCE MOZART IN AMADEUS AND BOLANO IS THE F. MURRAY ABRAHAM SALIERI AND BUTLER’S MOZART SHOWS UP TO SON BOLANO’S SALIERI INTO THE GRAVE BECAUSE HE GRASPS AND MANIPULATES AND GUIDES THE NATURAL MUSIC OF PROSE TO ITS APOTHEOSIS WHEREAS BOLANO FIDDLES WITH PROSE LIKE A FOURTEEN YEAR-OLD TRYING TO JERK OFF IN A HALLWAY CLOSET AND MERELY INDUCING A BLOOD BLISTER ON THE SHAFT OF HIS VERY SMALL PENIS.
Cholmondeley: THIS BRINGS UP A GOOD QUESTION WHO WILL STAR IN THE MOVIE OF 300,000,000?
Featherstonehaugh: THERE CAN’T BE A MOVIE. HAVEN’T YOU PAID ATTENTION TO ANYTHING WE’VE SAID. IT’S ALREADY A MUSICAL. VISUAL IMAGES WOULD ONLY TAINT BUTLER’S WORLDCRAFT. 300,000,000 IS A MOVIE, AN ALBUM, A PAINTING, A SONG, A POEM, A NOVEL, AND A LANDSCAPE. DON’T GET GREEDY.
Cholmondeley: THANK YOU.
Cholmondeley: BOLD CHOICES AND VERTICAL ARTISTIC INTEGRATION BY HARPER PERENNIAL. YOU GET A SENSE OF THIS BOOK BEFORE YOUR FINGERS HAVE EVEN PENETRATED IT.
Featherstonehaugh: FAIR PLAY TO BLAKE BUTLER AND HIS GOOD BUDDY CALVERT MORGAN FOR MARKETING THIS THING TO THE UTMOST AND IN THE AVANT-GARDIEST WAY POSSIBLE.
Cholmondeley: I THOUGHT THAT BALKE’S PROMISE TO EAT A BABY EVERY DAY FOR EVERY DAY THE BOOK REMAINS IN AMAZON’S TOP SELLERS LIST WAS A LITTLE OVER THE TOP BUT MAYBE THAT’S ME BEING SQUEAMISH AND OVERLY PRO-BABY.
Featherstonehaugh: IT SEEMED IN CHARACTER FOR HIM THOUGH IN ALL TRUTH YOU CAN’T SAY YOU DIDN’T SEE IT COMING.
Cholmondeley: SHOULD WE TALK ABOUT THE BOOK. SHOULD WE TALK ABOUT WHAT WE TALK ABOUT WHEN WE TALK ABOUT 300,000,000. CARVER REFERENCE DID YOU NOTICE I MADE IT PERHAPS TOO EXPLICIT.
Featherstonehaugh: CARVER HAS NO PLACE HERE FRIEND. WE’RE TALKING BUTLER BOLANO COOPER DELEUZE GUATTARI KORESH AND THE EVERLASTING PROMISE OF THE SOUND ENGINE THAT IS SILENT PROSE PRINTED SILENTLY ON THE PAGE AND READ SILENTLY BY MOST IF NOT ALL HUMANS.
Cholmondeley: WE’LL COME TO THE SOUNDSPORTS AT PLAY IN THIS BOOK LATER BUT FOR NOW LET’S FOCUS ON THE REPUDIATION SOME MIGHT SAY ANNIHILATION ? OF BOLANO BY THIS BOOK. BALKE HAS GONE ON RECORD IN MULTIPLE BLOG POSTS AND IN CONCATENATED INFINITIES OF COMMENT CHAINS THAT BOLANO IS A TALENTLESS ARTISAN WHO WRITES BLOCKS OF WORD-OFFAL THAT NOT ONLY BORE BUTLER TO SLEEP WHICH IS REMARKABLE SINCE BUTLER WROTE SEVEN BOOKS ABOUT HOW HE ONLY SLEEPS ONE HEAVILY MEDICATED HOUR PER WEEK BUT BOLANO’S WRITING ALSO MAKES HIM WANT TO SET HIMSELF ON FIRE LIKE THE MONK AND THEN COME BACK TO LIFE AS A GHOST ARSONIST SO HE CAN SET HIS OWN ASHES ON FIRE AGAIN. WHICH IS A STRONGLY NEGATIVE REVIEW OF BOLANO WHO WE SHOULD SAY IS DEAD AND CANNOT DEFEND HIMSELF.
Featherstonehaugh: 300,000,000 OBLITERATES BOLANO SO IT’S PROBABLY FOR THE BEST THAT HE’S DEAD BECAUSE I CAN IMAGINE HIM GETTING THIS ADVANCE READER’S COPY AND BEING LIKE IN SPANISH WELL THIS AMERICAN JUST OWNED ME AT MY OWN GAME SO HANDILY AND WITH SUCH BRUTALLY FUCKED LANGUAGE THAT I MIGHT AS WELL FORFEIT MY LIFE BECAUSE BALKE HAS TRIUMPHED OVER ME LIKE BARCELONA OVER LOWLY OSASUNA 12,000 GOALS TO NIL AND IT’S NOT EVEN HALFTIME YET AND THE COACH IS SWEATING BLOOD AND AT LEAST 80% OF THE OSASUNA FANS HAVE COMMITTED SUICIDE WITH THEIR PROGRAMS BY PAPER- CUTTING THEIR WRISTS TO THE BONE, FUCK. BOLANO WOULD THEN ASSUREDLY SIGN OVER HIS LIFETIME ROYALTIES TO BUTLER IN A SORT OF WEAK MOVE TO APPEASE BUTLER AND EXPIATE HIMSELF FROM THE SHITTINESS OF HIS OWN WORK AS IF TO SAY FORGIVE ME WORLD.
Cholmondeley: AND THE WORLD WOULD NOT FORGIVE HIM.
Featherstonehaugh: NO WAY.
Cholmondeley: SO NOW THAT WE’VE SET THINGS UP SO TO SPEAK WHAT WERE YOUR FAVORITE PARTS OF THE BOOK
Featherstonehaugh: I LIKED ALL THE MEAT HAMMERS IN THE BOOK. IN FACT ALL THE MEAT TOOLS AND BALLOONS WERE REALLY COOL AND FUNNY. AND THE 100 PAGES IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BOOK WITH A SINGLE WORD EACH WERE ALSO A FAVORITE. AND THE SEEMINGLY BUT NOT REALLY RANDOM REFERENCES TO DAVID FOSTER WALLACE EVEN IN PASSAGES THAT WERE SUPERFICIALLY CONCERNED WITH THE GELATINIZATION OF MUTANT BABY’S BONES YOU KNOW THE SCENE I’M TALKING ABOUT.
Cholmondeley: OH MAN THAT KILLED ME SO ROMANTIC TOO. IF THERE’S ONE THING BALKE IS REALLY GOOD AT IT’S BLOWING MY MIND AND MY MIND’S INNER EAR WITH SWEET NOTHINGS ABOUT DISSOLVING BONES AND EVIL MOTHERS WISTFULLY JERKING OFF THEIR DOWGS WHO QUOTE FROM DFW’S COMMENCEMENT SPEECH WHEN THEY CLIMAX LIKE THIS IS WATER BABE FEEL IT. I CRIED.
Featherstonehaugh: ME TOO. AND THE POETRY OF IT ALL.
Cholmondeley: DON’T EVEN GET ME STARTED.
Featherstonehaugh: DO YOU THINK THIS BOOK IS LIKE IF TUPAC AND BIGGIE SPENT 1000 YEARS TOGETHER FREESTYLING ON THE SUBJECTS OF VIOLENCE DEATH MEAT MOTHERS FATHERS KIDS BLOOD SLEEPING DREAMS CULTS RELIGION GOD AND MURDER AND THEN TRANSCRIBED THOSE FREESTYLES INTO PROSE WITH APPROPRIATELY DEVASTATING LINE BREAKS AND THEN WERE MADE TO LEARN ABOUT THE RHIZOME
Cholmondeley: THAT WAS MY FIRST THOUGHT BUT THEN WHEN I GOT DEEPER INTO THE SOUNDSCAPE OF THE SENTENCES I DECIDED THAT YOU CANNOT UNDERSTAND THIS BOOK WITHOUT UNDERSTANDING ITS MUSIC AND THE UNDERHUM OF SONG FOUND THROUGHOUT EVEN THE PUNCTUATION VIBRATES IN MY HEAD EACH PERIOD HIT LIKE A GONG EACH COMMA’S TAIL LIKE A VIOLIN’S FILIGREED VIBRATO
Featherstonehaugh: EXPLAIN BECAUSE I THOUGHT MY THING ABOUT BIGGIE AND TUPAC WAS ON THE MONEY AND ALMOST LIKE A BLURB’S DREAM OF A BLURB.
Cholmondeley: WELL CAN I BREAK IT DOWN FOR YOU LIKE THIS ALMOST EVERYONE’S PROSE HAS NO MUSIC TO IT OR IF THERE IS MUSIC IT’S LIKE THE MUSIC MADE BY A HARMONICALLY UNINTERESTING REFRIGERATOR I.E. FLAT COLD AND DRONING.
Featherstonehaugh: I’M WITH YOU I THINK
Cholmondeley: THE MUSIC OF BALKE’S PROSE IS BOTH PROFOUND AND UNSETTLING AND IF YOU WERE TO TRANSCRIBE THE NOTES THAT HE HITS AND THE RHYTHM OF THESE PARAGRAPHS YOU WOULD FIND YOURSELF SHAKEN AND TIRED BUT HOLDING THE SCORE TO THE LONGEST ANGELO BADALAMENTI SYMPHONY EVER PRODUCED IF ANGELO WERE ALSO IN POSSESSION OF GOD’S COURAGE AND KNOWLEDGE.
Featherstonehaugh: WHEW.
Cholmondeley: I MEAN LIKE WE SAID BEFORE MOST PEOPLE ARE DUMB ANIMALS WHO READ BOOKS BECAUSE THEY WANT STORIES THAT SHOW THEM A DIFFERENT WAY OF LIFE OR GIVE THEM AN INTERESTING NARRATIVE OR SOME KIND OF CATHARSIS BUT THOSE PEOPLE ALSO READ FICTION WITHOUT BEING ATTUNED TO THE NATURAL SOUND-EMITTING PROPERTIES OF PRINTED WORDS
Featherstonehaugh: WHICH I THINK WE CAN AGREE IS SOMETHING A PROPER OR TRUE READER MUST BE AWARE OF OR THEY’RE MISSING THE WHOLE POINT OF FICTION. JUST LIKE IF YOU DIDN’T PAY ATTENTION TO THE COLORS MADE BY CERTAIN WINDS OR THE SMELLS INHERENT IN SOME MUSIC. IT’S LIKE GET OUT OF THE KITCHEN IF YOU CAN’T TAKE THE HEAT OR UNDERSTAND ITS SWEET KEENING SONG AND VELVETY TEXTURE.
Cholmondeley: RIGHT. I GO TO FICTION IN GENERAL FOR THE SOUND OF IT ALL SO WHAT I’M SAYING IS DON’T COME AT ME WITH YOUR HALF-ASSED LULLABIES JONATHAN FRANZEN AND DON’T COME AT ME WITH YOUR RHYTHMICALLY IGNORANT JINGLES ZADIE SMITH AND DON’T COME AT ME WITH YOUR CLOYING AUDIOCIDES BEN LERNER POET TURNED NOVELIST IMPOSTER!
Featherstonehaugh: OKAY CALM DOWN WE’RE BOTH PASSIONATE ABOUT THIS
Cholmondeley: WHAT BALKE DOES IS RECOGNIZE THE SONG IN EVERY SYLLABLE AND ARRANGE THOSE SONGS INTO WORDS AND THOSE WORDS INTO DELICATELY BALANCED AND MELLIFLUOUS OR CACOPHONOUS SENTENCES BY DESIGN ALWAYS AND THOSE SENTENCES INTO BOOKS. MOST AUTHORS IGNORE THE 100% PATENT ADVANTAGE THAT PROSE HOLDS OVER OTHER MEDIA LIKE TELEVISION AND FILM AND THAT IS THAT THE INNER VOICE OF EVERY READER SCREAM-SINGS EACH WORD IN THE READER’S HEAD AS IT READS AND WHAT YOU WANT PLAYING UP THERE IS AN INDELIBLE AND EMOTIONALLY COMPLEX MUSIC. THAT IS WHAT STAYS WITH READERS THE ECHO OF THE INNER SONG OF A BOOK. NOT THE CHARACTERS OR THE THEMES OR THE MEANING OR THE DESCRIPTIONS OR THE EMOTIONS OR THE PLOT. I CAN STILL HUM THE ENTIRETY OF DENNIS COOPER’S MARBLED SWARM AND I HAVE GOTTEN LAID THREE TIMES BECAUSE OF THAT.
Featherstonehaugh: BRAGGING. THOUGH I SEE WHAT YOU MEAN. IT’S LIKE BALKE IS THE TOM HULCE MOZART IN AMADEUS AND BOLANO IS THE F. MURRAY ABRAHAM SALIERI AND BUTLER’S MOZART SHOWS UP TO SON BOLANO’S SALIERI INTO THE GRAVE BECAUSE HE GRASPS AND MANIPULATES AND GUIDES THE NATURAL MUSIC OF PROSE TO ITS APOTHEOSIS WHEREAS BOLANO FIDDLES WITH PROSE LIKE A FOURTEEN YEAR-OLD TRYING TO JERK OFF IN A HALLWAY CLOSET AND MERELY INDUCING A BLOOD BLISTER ON THE SHAFT OF HIS VERY SMALL PENIS.
Cholmondeley: THIS BRINGS UP A GOOD QUESTION WHO WILL STAR IN THE MOVIE OF 300,000,000?
Featherstonehaugh: THERE CAN’T BE A MOVIE. HAVEN’T YOU PAID ATTENTION TO ANYTHING WE’VE SAID. IT’S ALREADY A MUSICAL. VISUAL IMAGES WOULD ONLY TAINT BUTLER’S WORLDCRAFT. 300,000,000 IS A MOVIE, AN ALBUM, A PAINTING, A SONG, A POEM, A NOVEL, AND A LANDSCAPE. DON’T GET GREEDY.
Cholmondeley: THANK YOU.
Sunday, March 13, 2011
RICHARD YATES TAO LIN MDMA FILMS MUUMUUHOUSE REVIEW
RICHARD YATES
Featherstonehaugh: AN EDUCATIONAL PAMPHLET APPARENTLY
Cholmondeley: ON WHAT WAS IT—ORGANIC FOOD SHOPPING
Featherstonehaugh: WRONG THAT WAS NOT IT AT ALL. YOU KNOW BETTER.
Cholmondeley: ON STALKING VULNERABLE YOUNG WOMEN?
Featherstonehaugh: THROUGH INTERNET CHAT
Cholmondeley: AND ESTABLISHING A TIGHT PSYCHOLOGICAL GRIP ON THOSE YOU PLAN OR HOPE TO STATUATORILY RAPE CORRECT?
Featherstonehaugh: ON THE NOSE FRIEND
Cholmondeley: I SUPPOSE IF I WERE INTO PUBESCENT GIRLS I WOULD TAKE THIS BOOK AS BOON INTO MY LIFE
Featherstonehaugh: INTO YOUR BOSOM YOU MEAN
Cholmondeley: NO I WOULD USE IT TO GAIN ACCESS TO CERTAIN PUBESCENT GIRLS’ BOSOMS
Featherstonehaugh: PRACTICAL APPLICATION AND SO FORTH
Cholmondeley: I’M NOT INTO THEORY THOUGH I UNDERSTAND THAT IS A BIG PART OF THE BOOK’S APPEAL HADN’T YOU HEARD?
Featherstonehaugh: SOME BREATHLESS REVIEWS BY THE AUTHOR’S SCHOOLCHUMS AND ACOLYTES SUGGESTED THIS WAS A NEW ASSUALT IN THE WAR ON REALISM STORY NOVELS, FICTION ITSELF, LIFE ITSELF, LOVE MASQUERADING AS LUST ITSELF, EMOTION, HUMAN CONCEPTIONS OF GOD AND BUDDHA HIMSELF, AND LUST MASQUERADING AS A LUST FOR LIFE ITSELF. ALSO A GUIDE TO THE THOUGHTS AND FEELINGS AND PREDATORY SEXUAL HABITS OF TWENTYSOMETHINGS IN NEW YORK CITY
Cholmondeley: THIS IS SOME REAL SHIT SO TO SPEAK MAYBE THE REALEST
Featherstonehaugh: I AGREE IT IS REAL TO THE MAX ALMOST TOO REAL TO BEAR
Cholmondeley: LETS GET AWAY FROM THE DEAD-ENDEDNESS OF THIS INQUIRY AND TALK ABOUT THE PROSE STYLE
Featherstonehaugh: IT FELT LIKE I WAS SPYING ON MY FRIENDS
Cholmondeley: WHAT FRIENDS SPECIFICALLY I WANT DETAILS SINCE YOU AND I KNOW ALL THE SAME PEOPLE
Featherstonehaugh: FRIENDS WHO ARE EXCITED BY THE POSSIBILITIES OF TECHNOLOGY AND WHO LIKE THE SOUND OF THE WORD BROWSER AND LIKE TO THINK OR PHILOSOPHIZE WITH THE HELP OF DRUGS ABOUT THE INTERNET AND SOCIAL CURRENCY GENERATED BY HITS AND MENTIONS AND HOW TO USE THAT SOCIAL CURRENCY MOST JUDICIOUSLY
Cholmondeley: TO GET MONEY AND GENITAL ENCOUNTERS CORRECT
Featherstonehaugh: SO YOU DO KNOW WHO I’M TALKING ABOUT
Cholmondeley: OH YES THESE ARE ALSO THE PEOPLE WHO MAYBE BECOME AROUSED AT THEIR OWN FACILITY WITH TABS AND BROWSING AND WHO DRIFT INTO FUGUES OF PROPHECY AND AGGRANDIZEMENT DUE TO THE PNEUMA WAFTING FROM THEIR OVERHEATED CPUs
Featherstonehaugh: SOMETHING LIKE THAT
Cholmondeley: DID YOU GET THE FEELING THAT THIS BOOK WAS MADE BY A BRAVE PERSON MAKING BRAVE CHOICES TOO
Featherstonehaugh: I WAS FRIGHTENED THROUGHOUT THAT THIS WAS THE NOVELIZATION OF AN EPISODE OF TO CATCH A PREDATOR AND THE BOOK WOULD END WITH THE NARRATOR AUTHOR’S ARREST AND INCARCERATION AND INEVITABLE SODOMIZATION SO YES IT WAS COURAGE I SAW IN THE MARGINS
Cholmondeley: OH ME TOO ME TOO. I USUALLY THINK WHEN SOMEONE SAYS A WRITER IS BRAVE THAT THEY MEAN THE BOOK IS SO EMBARRASSING THAT THE WRITER IS BRAVE FOR EVEN SHOWING IT TO OTHER HUMANS
Featherstonehaugh: BUT NOT WITH THIS WORK AM I RIGHT
Cholmondeley: SO RIGHT. THIS BOOK IS BRAVE LIKE OVID’S METAMORPHOSES. I BET SOME DUDES ON THE FRONT LINE IN AFGHANISTAN, WAIT, I MEAN SOME DUDES ON BOTH FRONT LINES THE AFGHANI AND THE AMERICAN SIDES READ THIS BOOK AND WERE LIKE FUCK MAN I’M GLAD I’M NOT THAT GUY BATTLING THE MOM WHO DOESN’T WANT HER DAUGHTER’S BARELY FORMED VAGINA PUNCTURED BY ME, THE BRAVE GUY.
Featherstonehaugh: I LIKE YOUR OVID COMPARISON BECAUSE THERE’S A LOT OF FEAR AND DITHERING OVER NONCONSENSUAL INTERCOURSE IN THE METAMORPHOSES JUST LIKE IN THIS BOOK
Cholmondeley: ONE MIGHT SAY TAO LIN IS THE NEW OVID AND THIS IS HIS METAMETAMORPHOSES
Featherstonehaugh: DON’T GET CARRIED AWAY THERE
Cholmondeley: ONE MIGHT SAY TAO LIN IS THE NEW SHAKESPEARE AND THIS IS THE NEW ROMEO AND JULIET
Featherstonehaugh: OR TAO LIN IS THE NEW RAY CARVER FOR THE NEW ME GENERATION AND NEW KMART REALISM
Cholmondeley: I THOUGHT IT WAS GCHAT REALISM THAT’S THE GENRE I ALWAYS SEE ASSOCIATED WITH PAPA LIN
Featherstonehaugh: THE NEW LOLITA FOR THE HUMBLE HUMBLE CREEPERS OF THE WORLD BUT MORE EMOTIONAL AND MORE ELEGANT AND MORE NOW
Cholmondeley: I NEED MORE NOW IN MY LIFE AND MORE STARTLING INTERIORITY
Featherstonehaugh: THAT’S NOT THIS BOOK YOU’RE THINKING OF THE OTHER ONE
Cholmondeley: OH I NEED MORE NOW IN MY LIFE AND MORE NOISE COILED AT THE NOISE OF THE COIL’S POISE VIA THE LINTERNET
Featherstonehaugh: CLOSE ENOUGH AT LEAST YOU USED SOME CONSECUTION
Featherstonehaugh: AN EDUCATIONAL PAMPHLET APPARENTLY
Cholmondeley: ON WHAT WAS IT—ORGANIC FOOD SHOPPING
Featherstonehaugh: WRONG THAT WAS NOT IT AT ALL. YOU KNOW BETTER.
Cholmondeley: ON STALKING VULNERABLE YOUNG WOMEN?
Featherstonehaugh: THROUGH INTERNET CHAT
Cholmondeley: AND ESTABLISHING A TIGHT PSYCHOLOGICAL GRIP ON THOSE YOU PLAN OR HOPE TO STATUATORILY RAPE CORRECT?
Featherstonehaugh: ON THE NOSE FRIEND
Cholmondeley: I SUPPOSE IF I WERE INTO PUBESCENT GIRLS I WOULD TAKE THIS BOOK AS BOON INTO MY LIFE
Featherstonehaugh: INTO YOUR BOSOM YOU MEAN
Cholmondeley: NO I WOULD USE IT TO GAIN ACCESS TO CERTAIN PUBESCENT GIRLS’ BOSOMS
Featherstonehaugh: PRACTICAL APPLICATION AND SO FORTH
Cholmondeley: I’M NOT INTO THEORY THOUGH I UNDERSTAND THAT IS A BIG PART OF THE BOOK’S APPEAL HADN’T YOU HEARD?
Featherstonehaugh: SOME BREATHLESS REVIEWS BY THE AUTHOR’S SCHOOLCHUMS AND ACOLYTES SUGGESTED THIS WAS A NEW ASSUALT IN THE WAR ON REALISM STORY NOVELS, FICTION ITSELF, LIFE ITSELF, LOVE MASQUERADING AS LUST ITSELF, EMOTION, HUMAN CONCEPTIONS OF GOD AND BUDDHA HIMSELF, AND LUST MASQUERADING AS A LUST FOR LIFE ITSELF. ALSO A GUIDE TO THE THOUGHTS AND FEELINGS AND PREDATORY SEXUAL HABITS OF TWENTYSOMETHINGS IN NEW YORK CITY
Cholmondeley: THIS IS SOME REAL SHIT SO TO SPEAK MAYBE THE REALEST
Featherstonehaugh: I AGREE IT IS REAL TO THE MAX ALMOST TOO REAL TO BEAR
Cholmondeley: LETS GET AWAY FROM THE DEAD-ENDEDNESS OF THIS INQUIRY AND TALK ABOUT THE PROSE STYLE
Featherstonehaugh: IT FELT LIKE I WAS SPYING ON MY FRIENDS
Cholmondeley: WHAT FRIENDS SPECIFICALLY I WANT DETAILS SINCE YOU AND I KNOW ALL THE SAME PEOPLE
Featherstonehaugh: FRIENDS WHO ARE EXCITED BY THE POSSIBILITIES OF TECHNOLOGY AND WHO LIKE THE SOUND OF THE WORD BROWSER AND LIKE TO THINK OR PHILOSOPHIZE WITH THE HELP OF DRUGS ABOUT THE INTERNET AND SOCIAL CURRENCY GENERATED BY HITS AND MENTIONS AND HOW TO USE THAT SOCIAL CURRENCY MOST JUDICIOUSLY
Cholmondeley: TO GET MONEY AND GENITAL ENCOUNTERS CORRECT
Featherstonehaugh: SO YOU DO KNOW WHO I’M TALKING ABOUT
Cholmondeley: OH YES THESE ARE ALSO THE PEOPLE WHO MAYBE BECOME AROUSED AT THEIR OWN FACILITY WITH TABS AND BROWSING AND WHO DRIFT INTO FUGUES OF PROPHECY AND AGGRANDIZEMENT DUE TO THE PNEUMA WAFTING FROM THEIR OVERHEATED CPUs
Featherstonehaugh: SOMETHING LIKE THAT
Cholmondeley: DID YOU GET THE FEELING THAT THIS BOOK WAS MADE BY A BRAVE PERSON MAKING BRAVE CHOICES TOO
Featherstonehaugh: I WAS FRIGHTENED THROUGHOUT THAT THIS WAS THE NOVELIZATION OF AN EPISODE OF TO CATCH A PREDATOR AND THE BOOK WOULD END WITH THE NARRATOR AUTHOR’S ARREST AND INCARCERATION AND INEVITABLE SODOMIZATION SO YES IT WAS COURAGE I SAW IN THE MARGINS
Cholmondeley: OH ME TOO ME TOO. I USUALLY THINK WHEN SOMEONE SAYS A WRITER IS BRAVE THAT THEY MEAN THE BOOK IS SO EMBARRASSING THAT THE WRITER IS BRAVE FOR EVEN SHOWING IT TO OTHER HUMANS
Featherstonehaugh: BUT NOT WITH THIS WORK AM I RIGHT
Cholmondeley: SO RIGHT. THIS BOOK IS BRAVE LIKE OVID’S METAMORPHOSES. I BET SOME DUDES ON THE FRONT LINE IN AFGHANISTAN, WAIT, I MEAN SOME DUDES ON BOTH FRONT LINES THE AFGHANI AND THE AMERICAN SIDES READ THIS BOOK AND WERE LIKE FUCK MAN I’M GLAD I’M NOT THAT GUY BATTLING THE MOM WHO DOESN’T WANT HER DAUGHTER’S BARELY FORMED VAGINA PUNCTURED BY ME, THE BRAVE GUY.
Featherstonehaugh: I LIKE YOUR OVID COMPARISON BECAUSE THERE’S A LOT OF FEAR AND DITHERING OVER NONCONSENSUAL INTERCOURSE IN THE METAMORPHOSES JUST LIKE IN THIS BOOK
Cholmondeley: ONE MIGHT SAY TAO LIN IS THE NEW OVID AND THIS IS HIS METAMETAMORPHOSES
Featherstonehaugh: DON’T GET CARRIED AWAY THERE
Cholmondeley: ONE MIGHT SAY TAO LIN IS THE NEW SHAKESPEARE AND THIS IS THE NEW ROMEO AND JULIET
Featherstonehaugh: OR TAO LIN IS THE NEW RAY CARVER FOR THE NEW ME GENERATION AND NEW KMART REALISM
Cholmondeley: I THOUGHT IT WAS GCHAT REALISM THAT’S THE GENRE I ALWAYS SEE ASSOCIATED WITH PAPA LIN
Featherstonehaugh: THE NEW LOLITA FOR THE HUMBLE HUMBLE CREEPERS OF THE WORLD BUT MORE EMOTIONAL AND MORE ELEGANT AND MORE NOW
Cholmondeley: I NEED MORE NOW IN MY LIFE AND MORE STARTLING INTERIORITY
Featherstonehaugh: THAT’S NOT THIS BOOK YOU’RE THINKING OF THE OTHER ONE
Cholmondeley: OH I NEED MORE NOW IN MY LIFE AND MORE NOISE COILED AT THE NOISE OF THE COIL’S POISE VIA THE LINTERNET
Featherstonehaugh: CLOSE ENOUGH AT LEAST YOU USED SOME CONSECUTION
Friday, February 25, 2011
Tuesday, August 24, 2010
ZACHARY GERMAN WAVVES ROBERT EAT WHEN YOU FEEL SAD REVIEW INTERROGATION
Eat When You Feel Sad
Gilders: SO THE DUDE FROM WAVVES RELEASED A BOOK I GUESS?
Pluck: IN BETWEEN ALBUMS
Gilders: IN BETWEEN BREAKDOWNS
Pluck: HIS PEN NAME IS ZACHARY GERMAN THAT SEEMS LIKE A WEIRD CHOICE FOR THE DUDE FROM WAVVES TO MAKE NAME-WISE
Gilders: BUT IT IS MORE OF A WRITER’S NAME
Pluck: TRULY LIKE I CAN SEE THAT NAME MORE CLEARLY STAMPED ON THE SIDE OF A HARDBACK THAN NATHAN WILLIAMS
Gilders: THERE ARE ALREADY TOO MANY NATHANS IN LITERATURE
Pluck: NOT ENOUGH ZACHS
Gilders: WHAT DID YOU THINK OF THIS BOOK? AND IS IT A BOOK FOR PEOPLE? OR A BOOK FOR ANIMALS OR ALIENS?
Pluck: NOT MUCH FUN TO READ
Gilders: ZERO FUN
Pluck: HAD TO DRAG MY EYES ACROSS THE WORDS
Gilders: LIKE DRAGGING A TODDLER THROUGH THE MALL
Pluck: VERY MUCH LIKE THAT WHERE MY EYES ARE THE TODDLER AND THE BOOK IS THE MALL
Gilders: DID YOU ALSO GET THE FEELING THAT THE AUTHOR HATED YOU THE READER? I DID
Pluck: I ALSO DID GET THAT FEELING. I PICTURED ZACAHRY GERMAN FROM WAVVES WRITING EACH WORD OF THIS BOOK AND GIVING THE MIDDLE FINGER TO ME THROUGH HIS MOLESKINE NOTEBOOK OR MOLESKINE LAPTOP
Gilders: BUT HE’S PRETTY YOUNG TOO I GUESS YOUNG PEOPLE HATE READERS ACCORDING TO YAHOO NEWS
Pluck: AND THE STRESS OF RECORDING AS WAVVES AND KEEPING UP WITH HIS DRUG INTAKE PROBABLY TOOK A TOLL AS WELL
Gilders: I THINK THE POINT WAS TO WRITE ABOUT EVERYDAY THINGS LIKE DRINKING FUCKING AND EATING AND INTERNET INVOLVEMENT IN THE MOST OBJECTIVE POSSIBLE STYLE RIGHT?
Pluck: THATS DEFINITELY WHY I READ BOOKS BECAUSE SOMETIMES MY REAL LIFE GETS TOO INTERESTING OR THE INTERNET GETS TOO INTENSE AND I LONG FOR A SIMPLER LIFE LIKE ZACHARY WAVVES LIFE WHICH IS MADE OF HARD FACTS
Gilders: IT SMACKED ME OF THIRD GRADE ENGLISH CLASS
Pluck: SENTENCES?
Gilders: ENGLISH CLASS TAUGHT BY AN AUTIST OR A MONSTER MAYBE LIKE BEAKER FROM THE MUPPETS
Pluck: I THINK IT’S OUR DUTY TO BE MORE OBJECTIVE ABOUT AN OBJECTIVE BOOK THAT MIGHT BE JOURNALISM CALLED THE NEW NEW JOURNALISM?
Gilders: FROM THE FRONT LINES OF BROOKLYN WHERE LIFE IS YOUNG AND CRAZY
Pluck: FROM THE FRONT LINES OF ART I THINK YOU MEANT
Gilders: FROM THE FRONT LINES OF LONELINESS ISOLATION AND BOREDOM
Pluck: FROM THE FRONT LINES OF FINDING MEANING IN THE CITY WITHOUT MEANING
Gilders: FROM THE FRONT LINES OF PARSIMONY AND RESTRAINT
Pluck: FROM THE FRONT LINES OF ROBERTS IN THE WILD
Gilders: I ACTUALLY DO WANT TO KNOW MORE ABOUT ROBERTS GERMAN FROM WAVVES
Pluck: HES GOT A NEW ALBUM OUT RIGHT NOW ON TAO HOUSE RECORDS ITS ADVERTISED ON THE BACK OF THE BOOK
Gilders: THE BOOK IS PUBLISHED BY FSG PUBLISHING HOUSE THOUGH IS IT?
Pluck: NO I THINK ZACH WAVVES WITHDREW THE BOOK FROM FSG HOUSE BECAUSE HE WANTED IT TO FEEL MORE LIKE THE STREET LIKE A REPORT FROM THE HEART OF THE STREETS HEART
Gilders: FSG BOOKS ARE MORE LIKE REAL BOOKS FOR PEOPLE AND THIS BOOK BY WAVVES IS NOT FOR PEOPLE I THINK WE AGREED
Pluck: SOME ACTUAL HUMANS LIKE IT OR PROFESS TO LIKE IT I WOULD SAY IN TOUCHE
Gilders: THOSE HUMANS MUST BE INVOLVED IN A MARKETING EXPERIMENT CONCERNING PEOPLE BORN WITHOUT SYSTEMS OF PLEASURE
Pluck: NO REALLY THERE ARE ACTUAL HUMANS WHO COMMENTED THEIR SOULS TO THIS BOOK
Gilders: IS ZACHARY GERMAN THE HOLY GHOST OF THE LINTERNET?
Pluck: NO HE’S THE RUNOFF
Gilders: THE RUNOFF OF THE RUNOFF
Gilders: SO THE DUDE FROM WAVVES RELEASED A BOOK I GUESS?
Pluck: IN BETWEEN ALBUMS
Gilders: IN BETWEEN BREAKDOWNS
Pluck: HIS PEN NAME IS ZACHARY GERMAN THAT SEEMS LIKE A WEIRD CHOICE FOR THE DUDE FROM WAVVES TO MAKE NAME-WISE
Gilders: BUT IT IS MORE OF A WRITER’S NAME
Pluck: TRULY LIKE I CAN SEE THAT NAME MORE CLEARLY STAMPED ON THE SIDE OF A HARDBACK THAN NATHAN WILLIAMS
Gilders: THERE ARE ALREADY TOO MANY NATHANS IN LITERATURE
Pluck: NOT ENOUGH ZACHS
Gilders: WHAT DID YOU THINK OF THIS BOOK? AND IS IT A BOOK FOR PEOPLE? OR A BOOK FOR ANIMALS OR ALIENS?
Pluck: NOT MUCH FUN TO READ
Gilders: ZERO FUN
Pluck: HAD TO DRAG MY EYES ACROSS THE WORDS
Gilders: LIKE DRAGGING A TODDLER THROUGH THE MALL
Pluck: VERY MUCH LIKE THAT WHERE MY EYES ARE THE TODDLER AND THE BOOK IS THE MALL
Gilders: DID YOU ALSO GET THE FEELING THAT THE AUTHOR HATED YOU THE READER? I DID
Pluck: I ALSO DID GET THAT FEELING. I PICTURED ZACAHRY GERMAN FROM WAVVES WRITING EACH WORD OF THIS BOOK AND GIVING THE MIDDLE FINGER TO ME THROUGH HIS MOLESKINE NOTEBOOK OR MOLESKINE LAPTOP
Gilders: BUT HE’S PRETTY YOUNG TOO I GUESS YOUNG PEOPLE HATE READERS ACCORDING TO YAHOO NEWS
Pluck: AND THE STRESS OF RECORDING AS WAVVES AND KEEPING UP WITH HIS DRUG INTAKE PROBABLY TOOK A TOLL AS WELL
Gilders: I THINK THE POINT WAS TO WRITE ABOUT EVERYDAY THINGS LIKE DRINKING FUCKING AND EATING AND INTERNET INVOLVEMENT IN THE MOST OBJECTIVE POSSIBLE STYLE RIGHT?
Pluck: THATS DEFINITELY WHY I READ BOOKS BECAUSE SOMETIMES MY REAL LIFE GETS TOO INTERESTING OR THE INTERNET GETS TOO INTENSE AND I LONG FOR A SIMPLER LIFE LIKE ZACHARY WAVVES LIFE WHICH IS MADE OF HARD FACTS
Gilders: IT SMACKED ME OF THIRD GRADE ENGLISH CLASS
Pluck: SENTENCES?
Gilders: ENGLISH CLASS TAUGHT BY AN AUTIST OR A MONSTER MAYBE LIKE BEAKER FROM THE MUPPETS
Pluck: I THINK IT’S OUR DUTY TO BE MORE OBJECTIVE ABOUT AN OBJECTIVE BOOK THAT MIGHT BE JOURNALISM CALLED THE NEW NEW JOURNALISM?
Gilders: FROM THE FRONT LINES OF BROOKLYN WHERE LIFE IS YOUNG AND CRAZY
Pluck: FROM THE FRONT LINES OF ART I THINK YOU MEANT
Gilders: FROM THE FRONT LINES OF LONELINESS ISOLATION AND BOREDOM
Pluck: FROM THE FRONT LINES OF FINDING MEANING IN THE CITY WITHOUT MEANING
Gilders: FROM THE FRONT LINES OF PARSIMONY AND RESTRAINT
Pluck: FROM THE FRONT LINES OF ROBERTS IN THE WILD
Gilders: I ACTUALLY DO WANT TO KNOW MORE ABOUT ROBERTS GERMAN FROM WAVVES
Pluck: HES GOT A NEW ALBUM OUT RIGHT NOW ON TAO HOUSE RECORDS ITS ADVERTISED ON THE BACK OF THE BOOK
Gilders: THE BOOK IS PUBLISHED BY FSG PUBLISHING HOUSE THOUGH IS IT?
Pluck: NO I THINK ZACH WAVVES WITHDREW THE BOOK FROM FSG HOUSE BECAUSE HE WANTED IT TO FEEL MORE LIKE THE STREET LIKE A REPORT FROM THE HEART OF THE STREETS HEART
Gilders: FSG BOOKS ARE MORE LIKE REAL BOOKS FOR PEOPLE AND THIS BOOK BY WAVVES IS NOT FOR PEOPLE I THINK WE AGREED
Pluck: SOME ACTUAL HUMANS LIKE IT OR PROFESS TO LIKE IT I WOULD SAY IN TOUCHE
Gilders: THOSE HUMANS MUST BE INVOLVED IN A MARKETING EXPERIMENT CONCERNING PEOPLE BORN WITHOUT SYSTEMS OF PLEASURE
Pluck: NO REALLY THERE ARE ACTUAL HUMANS WHO COMMENTED THEIR SOULS TO THIS BOOK
Gilders: IS ZACHARY GERMAN THE HOLY GHOST OF THE LINTERNET?
Pluck: NO HE’S THE RUNOFF
Gilders: THE RUNOFF OF THE RUNOFF
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